My father was 93 when he died, but his mind started deteriorating five years before that. Watching him lose a step here and there was painful for our entire family. He would have preferred to die of a heart attack while taking a walk, but as it turned out, he had a long time to consider what was just over the horizon. He thought carefully about the comfort and safety of his wife and family after he was gone.

Among the many wonderful gifts my dad gave us was a thick file labeled “When I’m Dead. Now What? – Love, Dad.” The file contained everything from his funeral and burial wishes, to details on his finances, to a list of important advisors such as his attorney and accountant. His file contained passwords, banking and personal property information, account numbers, and instructions on how to find the things we would need to handle his estate and move on. He furnished life insurance company names, policy numbers, and face amounts. He left advanced directives. My father even reminded us that he had given each of us cherished possessions when he was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and expressed his personal thoughts and wishes for each of us and our children.

The Sh*t Show: Your Client Who Lets Things Slide

My dad knew, and had the courage to face, what was coming. In 35 years of working with insurance advisors and their clients, I’ve seen too many people neglect to leave useful instructions for family and executors, afraid of even mentioning what is inevitable for all of us. Those left behind struggle to handle everything from settling an estate to notifying their friends and social media connections of their passing.

People Need to Leave a Roadmap for Their Loved Ones Before They Die

Where do we find the healthcare proxy, the advanced directive, the will? If she never expressed her wishes, should we keep a loved one alive once there is no chance of recovery? Where did she keep the burial plot deed? A safe deposit box could contain a fortune in jewelry or gold coins, or the original will; in most states you cannot get through probate without an original will (a will should never be kept in a safe deposit box, but that’s a different article). How can we use a safe deposit box key if we have no clue what bank holds the box? What do we do about credit cards, debt, auto leases, business interests? If we can’t find login information, social media accounts may remain active indefinitely, and every year Facebook followers will be reminded to wish the deceased a happy birthday.

Sharing the Plan Is Everything

Clients neglecting to update, and share, their plans risk their estates ending up in a shambles. When the loved one dies the family searches frantically and often unsuccessfully for banking and investment information. An ex-spouse or a former business partner might still be the beneficiary of life insurance (and thrilled with the oversight). If no contingent beneficiaries are designated, the courts may have to decide who receives the insurance proceeds.

Have Your Clients Make an I’m Dead. Now What? File

As insurance advisors we know there is nothing more important than helping our clients plan for death. But to be an outstanding adviser, part of your job is also to look out for the peace of mind of your clients and, by extension, their loved ones. My dad’s I’m Dead. Now What? Love, Dad is a model for a sensible approach to organizing legal matters, health directives, financial affairs, estate documents, personal instructions, and more. Encourage your clients to create a similar guided planner and to make sure their loved ones know where to find it.

Be an outstanding insurance adviser. Take the leap and talk to your clients about preparing their loved ones for their final days, even if they are in fine health now.